Doesn’t everyone have a slightly different ‘happy ever after’?
My friends are buying houses and I’m travelling with nowhere near enough money for a deposit.
Here’s a bit of background before we get into it: I’m 23, I’m slow-travelling the world with my boyfriend and I teach English online. You can find out all about that here.
I graduated from university 2 years ago and decided long before, that travelling full-time would be my dream lifestyle.
I am lucky and proud enough to say that Brett and I have made travelling full-time a sustainable way of life. Since November 2021 we have lived in Spain and Croatia and we’re currently in Montenegro.
After university and mid pandemic, no one was travelling (as you well know). The life of an unemployed graduate was getting me down. I finally found a job working in a gym but I wasn’t happy with the long hours and shift times. My friends either continued studying or bagged themselves very good office jobs.
Buying houses
Some of them have since settled down and are buying houses with their significant others…
They tell me the news of their plans to buy a house and we giggle with excitement! The joy I feel towards my friends’ success and happiness is immense. I am always over the moon at the achievements that they work so incredibly hard towards.
The realisation
Once our phone call ends and I have a moment to myself, the realisation hits…
The part of me which has been warped by society to live my life in a particular way feels a pang of worry when I hear of another good friend of mine settling down into their new home. They’re busy creating stunning interior design Pinterest boards and going home decor shopping each weekend. Planning renovations and talking about mortgages, life plans and what the future holds.
My thoughts begin to race through the same set of questions every time — should I be finding a stable 9–5 job? Do I need to start saving up for a deposit? Or looking at potential future homes?
I have nowhere near enough money to put a deposit down on a house. I haven’t even got a clue where I want to live yet! I never thought I had commitment issues, but it turns out I do. In my humble opinion, buying a house is a major decision. Committing to one house, one city, one country for the foreseeable future and being financially tied to a down…scares me.
But I worry that I might be getting left behind in life, not keeping up with the race to have the perfect home, job and start a family. What will happen in 3, 5, or 10 years if I finally decide to settle down somewhere? I’ll be behind all of my closest friends in the ‘race’ for a secure and stable life.
When I have these intrusive thoughts I quickly try to bring myself back to the present. I’m incredibly happy with and grateful for the life Brett and I have created. Ever since I was little, my dream was to travel the world once I’d left university. Although coronavirus delayed this slightly, I’m finally living my dream!
Of course, owning assets is financially beneficial and I haven’t ruled it out. But for now, I’m quite happy living in short-term rentals, Airbnb’s and hotels while I slowly make my way around the world.
Coming to peace with my choices is a continuous journey, as friends settle down and make their houses homes. I’m learning not to compare myself to others so much, even though we’re all guilty of that sometimes.
There is no set path in life, and I’m excited to see where my non-traditional choices take me.
“Seeking happiness is not always comfortable, we must challenge ourselves to grow.”
Where is your path taking you right now? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
